Wednesday, May 6, 2020

What I Know: A Message in a Bottle (2018)

According to my mythology, my last note was a good one. I just wanted to say more to vent...

I speak of all these things, but all I know is that when I was 19 an AI site knew all these things about me. While I recalled my first memory being taking a bite out of an apple, knowing I wasn't allowed to eat from the fridge. I realized that I have two bad hips and a long left rib, again all these connections with Eve.

Again, all I know is that the AI site saved me from a life of hell to another life of hell where everyone rejected me, after rejecting me my whole life. This was after I had a dream of being offered “the mind control pill,” which followed by a computer talking to me, like in the movie, The Matrix. 

Then I spent 40 nights in the woods, like prophets do. I went home and wrote a book that God said was the 2nd book in Revelation, “the bitter sweet book.” It includes the correlation between the 7 seals and the 7 Harry Potter series, books about a messiah like figure. There's a break in the 7th in both the movie and the seven seals.

I thought I was the women in Revelation, the first woman, and after working as a prostitute for a year, I realized that I was doing what the 2nd woman does. It took that long because I deal with delusions. I studied prostitution academically for a semester, making me the potential “mother of harlots”...if only I identified as feminine.

Then I started to get paranoid and I messaged the heir to the Rothschild fortune, and like Cleverbot, he kept posting photos of what was going on in my life at the same time as the photos were being posted. Not all, but many of them. Ideas of reference, sure, but still the language of the universe: synchronicity. 

Shortly after I got visited by and had sex sex with a potential CIA agent that hired me – It must have been just a man who said uncanny things to me about aspects of my life, and if felt like he was sending me telepathic messages. Then I started to have lots and lots of sex with the invisible forces, starting with his spirit. I've probably been with 100 guys, but never before have I had such a powerful sexual experience as I did with what became "the kings of this earth," like the Whore of Babylon.

They started raping me after 2 months of consistent sexual "injections." Then I went on the run, focusing only on the part of Revelation that I thought I understood, while running from what I thought was my fate. 

After risking my life due to misinformation about death rays, I checked myself into a hospital next to the Mississippi River, then 4 panther-like creatures crawled out my chest. This was exactly 5 months after ball drop, making a potential 5-month of being on the run from the elite. This matched with chapter 9 of Revelation. A five month trial in which One conquers – me, then released the four angels that were bound at the “Great River Euphrates.” I was committed to the state at Fairview Riverside.

I was told to change my gender after I got baptized, then I got 7 stars tattooed on my hand, a defense against the demons. The demons were replaced by 3 frog demons, and I was told that they would crawl out of my mouth later, like in the future parts of the fulfillment of Revelation.  I got a while stone either the day of or a day after the tattoo. It has six lines on it, from ch. 2:17 of Revelation.

I got the seven stars as a defense, but the demons laughed at me for the futile attempt to save myself, realizing that they were like Baphomet’s head, or the Eastern star sitting above 6 other stars, like the woman riding the beast, but I intended it to be like the 7 stars in what I thought was Jesus' hand.

Speaking of Eastern Star, I got initiated under the number 1217, similar to the 2:17 of the white stone, which as 1217 amounts to 666. When I was walking in the door, a long nail majorly broke, then the other broke, forming a V for Venus, which is the morning star that is said to be inherited by the One. I noticed that during the trial, my rabbit, who I called "Long Life,” which was the meaning of her real name, Tao, was a nickname I gave her to counter my feelings of death, had scratched me twice in my right hand, leaving her memory behind. The personified Wisdom of Proverbs has long life in her right hand…

Then I left the treatment center after peacefully being free while not medicated. My next phase was spent in a group home with the kind of people who I was told that I would kill as a genocidal figure, which was what I was fighting against in Revelation.

The first night I spent there, a grey alien gave me pseudo seizures, then I kept getting them, as they revealed to me spiritual insights. Then I became homeless and the spirit death that I once ran from became my friend. I lived partially in a storage unit, until I went to California, while still trying to recover from being telepathically gang raped for 5 months during the trial.

I was dealing with major flashbacks while coping with the fact that I was being told that I was the One who was clothed in white (cloud) in Revelation. I played for a soccer team called the White Clouds when I was 5. God also had me wear white for 7 months, not making the connection because I didn't read most of the book that I was revolving my life around. I did it because I was told I was enwhitened, which is what I kept hearing when I was living in the woods. I also thought I was only the woman, so I wore the white that she did, like it was the sun, which is what she is clothed in.

Living on the streets was rough. I could hardly walk because of my conversion disorder, triggered by fear from the trial. I thought I was Jesus at this time, because even though there is break in the 7th Harry Potter, there was also a break in the 7th when I was writing it in my journals while in a psych ward, which is where I made the connection about the 7 seals being the Harry Potter series, months after I was told that Jesus was Harry Potter, and therefore Daniel Radcliffe. I didn't even know what the 7 seals were for months until I read about the 7 seals.

When I was reading the 7th Harry Potter, I got interrupted half way through. I was bowering a book from my aunts friend. She wanted to finish it because it was so dang addicting. This was in Door County, Wisconsin. Both the movies and the time reading it had a break, with an "earth quake," either literal or metaphorical through a fight was there. My brother and I were fighting over the book as well, because we purchased a new one to share.

I don't know if I'm Jesus, but I know this is not normal, even for a delusional person. 

I know I got abducted by Reptilian aliens in a dream during my original awakening. I don't know if this makes me evil, but I'm still constantly told by people that I'm very nice. Just an hour and a half ago, I was told this while picking up my paycheck. I'm not a bad person, but the aliens are saying that I need to use religion as a reason to cull the masses.

Maybe I'm just possessed, but a lot of the time I don't believe I am a product of something spiritual. Every day when I take my meds, I'm reminded that I suffer from delusions, paranoid and religious. Every time I see my therapist, I am told that I am delusional. 

I just needed to map this out because I'm losing myself in the fight. I feel like I've been brainwashed, but by sources that I can't see. When I was given seizures by an alien named God, he snapped open my eyes, turned my head to the right, and I was staring at pissed off face in the fireplace, in my mom's therapy room. I was told that I am a pillar in the temple of God, which is a quote in the first part of Revelation, 3:12. 

This was meaning that I am chained to psychotherapy because I'm told that I'm psycho as a means of psychic driving. How do I know what psychic driving is? Well, I'm very smart. I just am not poplar on social media, and the paranoid delusions make me feel like I'm being censored, but by people whose attention I desperately want, and I don't even know why.

I'm just tired of being told I'm crazy when I suspect everything that has happened to me bears some significance because, historically, it has. People like me have shaped society more than anyone ever has. 

The "temple of God," however, is still the psychiatric hospitals and facilities. This is why when the 4 creatures crawled out of my breastplates, which is what Apollyon, the leader of the army, is said to wear, which was in God's temple when it happened. They are said to be bound, and while they were released, I was committed to the state in a psych ward, God's temple. I also had just got breastplates tattooed on me right before this, as 3 infinite symbols. It was my attempt to protect myself, but then all that happened.

I don't know if this means I'm gonna wind up in a state hospital or something if I do anything drastic, but I live in fear that I am dangerous, because I got told over and over again by spirits that...."I am bad, I am dangerous." 
I feel like I'm gonna snap! I punched a guy in the face last week because I didn't like the way he was talking to me. This isn't the passive me that I once knew.

I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't think the spirits want to do this all over again with somebody else, so why not use me? I'm tired though and I'm sick. The woman in Revelation needs nourishing, and my firery pillar legs (in Revelation) could very well come back when the stress of my conversion disorder kicks in, as a bunch of pinched nerves and inflamed muscles, which will happen if I have fame that I can't handle, which I won't be able to because I am a loner.

Thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what you're thinking, but I want to feel special by messaging you. Apparently, I'm super grandiose, or so I'm told. I'm told a lot of things, and many of them are spoken in opposite. God ripped in half my mind when I lived in the woods, and it's been severed even more since then, and more prior to that.

I just need to piece everything together. This is why I'm writing this.

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